First day of week. To describe it briefly: anti-climatic. Hmm... how should I put it? I went there, was told lots of things you're supposed to know like table setting, menu, restaurant procedure and all that jazz. The place isn't really busy (not dead, just kinda not busy) so I didn't really do much, just kinda stood there staring outside and... well, whatever the hell people do when they're bored. Besides, I wasn't given too many responsibilities like taking orders so it's kinda blah.

Nope, I didn't break anything, although I think there was one point where my hand just couldn't take holding up the tray and was shaking just a little bit. Blah. It's just blah. But I feel tired, because there's practically nothing there for me to do, and yet I have to keep up this semi-happy expression on my face and it's bloody tiring. Kinda like fake-smiling for too long that you find your face muscles permanently frozen in that position. When I got off work, the smile got wiped off my face and it felt so good. I don't like it, I felt so tense the whole time I was working, as though my every action was under microscopic review. It's horrendous to be observed and left wondering if there was something wrong with the way you carry yourself because they aren't saying anything, just watching you. I know I sound just a little on the paranoid side, and maybe I am... but when I was heading back after my shift was over, I swear it wasn't paranoia. Can't really describe it, it's just something that you feel.

It's such a relief to be able to just slump my shoulders, not trying to look alert or interested 24/7. I know I'll survive the next two months, the question is, will I enjoy the time I spent working?