On occasion, you get customers who like to show off and act as though they're smarter than you. We had one such customer today, what was most hilarious was when he ordered a glass of the house white to my colleague.

"What kind of wine is this?"
"It's chardonnay, sir."
"I know it's chardonnay, but there are many kinds of chardonnay, aren't they?"
"I'm not sure what you mean, sir."
"I know your mother is a woman. But your mother could be Chinese, Indian, Malay etc. Just like Chardonnay, there are many variations: sauvignon blanc etc."

It's fucking La Joya 2005 Chadonnay from Chile, you dumb fuck. Go back to wine school and stop trying to act like some smarty pants when you only come across as an idiot. How many kinds of fucking Chardonnay do you think we have anyway? Sauvignon blanc is NOT a part of chardonnay, it's falls under the white wine group, not chardonnay, dumbass. Know your facts before you start out trying to impress your girlfriend, seriously.

Another kind of customer would be the ones who hear what others say and not understanding a single word, repeat the same thing to the waiter (or in my case, waitress). One example would be pesto sauce. It simply means cooked in aglio e olio (not exactly, but in simple terms) but do they know this? Of course not. Don't recite things you don't know the fuck about. We don't have fancy pesto sauce, in fact, we don't really serve it. What comes the closest to it would be pasta cooked in extra virgin olive oil. Your friend probably didn't try pesto in the restaurant, either that or he just thinks he did because we don't bloody have it on our menu. Like I said, we only have olio pasta so deal with it. Don't kick up a fuss just because you said pesto (without knowing what it is) and it turns out to be not what you expected.